its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
