the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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