I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
