that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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