no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
