look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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