took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
