Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
