Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
