i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
