There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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