The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
