it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
