Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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