How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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