I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
