I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Ā¯ and "Why tacos?"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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