A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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