Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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