Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
