I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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