Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
