Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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