He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
