hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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