my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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