my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
