Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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