Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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