The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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