someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
