Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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