Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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