think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
