Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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