Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
