I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
