A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
