Having a random hookup so left but love u
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
