I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
