yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
