Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
