Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
