how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
