some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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