she was so not down for the gang bang
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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