I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
