is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
