Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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