I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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