Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just cropdusted the office
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
