I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
